


Maybe

by angelselectric



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: A little bit of fluff, Angst, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-11 22:33:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7910149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelselectric/pseuds/angelselectric
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Baekhyun gets hurt during and show and he realizes maybe he wasn't the only one who fell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe

Baekhyun knew, from the moment he put his feet on stage, that something bad would happen. He could felt it. There was a cold hand around his heart, making it hard for him to breathe. There had been few times in his life when he didn’t want to perform and this was one of them. He loved the fans so much, but it was like the universe was whispering, telling him not to go.

But he did.

And, for a moment, everything was okay. He couldn’t help but smile when he heard the fans screaming their names and all the joy from other members. It filled the air. It made the ice on his chest melt and he was Baekhyun again, laughing and joking. Oh, he could handle that. Just one more night.

_Just one more night just for a moment just for a moment, he would make an effort, he would be okay but_ oh Chanyeol looked so beautiful that night. So beautiful with the messy hair and his sharpen jaw line that cut deep into him and the bright smile. But he couldn’t tell about his eyes —of course no. Chanyeol wasn’t even looking at him.

They had fight last night. It was a stupid fight, he couldn’t even remember the reason. But it didn’t end well. So, they were avoiding each other all day, but now, here on stage, he didn’t feel like he could do it.

_Okay. Focus, Baekhyun, you can do this._

And he did, for about twenty minutes. The hand around his heart was back and distracted him for everything. He had mistaken the choreography twice already, and he was surprised no one said a thing. Maybe they hadn’t noticed.

It was on the third time that Chanyeol glanced at him. It was fast and cold, enough to make Baekhyun lost his sense. He cursed himself for letting that sort of thing happen, for being so distracted, when part of him just wanted to run away from that stage. He hated admitting it, but he thought he needed a time for himself. Maybe in the middle of the show wasn’t a great hour, but still he needed a break. Just to think about things.

So it happened.

He didn’t see the step. He didn’t realize the choreography was wrong, that the move was from another part of the song, and his legs were getting weak. He didn’t see all of those things, so he fell, and saw nothing more.

 

  * ••



It happened so fast.  The fans stopped singing along and for a moment there was silence. Chanyeol followed their look and he repeated to himself that he wouldn’t care, he wouldn’t get close, it was just an simple accident it happened all the time. Jongin hurt himself all the time, it was almost normal. He waited a matter of seconds for Baekhyun to sit and laugh, but he didn’t do it.

Fuck it. Chanyeol was already kneeling next to him when he realized.

Baekhyun’s eyes were closed.

His heart skipped a beat.

It felt like they had switched places and Chanyeol was the one laying on the floor, unconscious, no control over what was going on around him. The world stopped for a second until he felt a hand on his back and Baekhyun being taken away by the staff. _It happened so fast_. Junmyeon started talking and the fans started screaming and they were finishing the show.

He wanted so hard not to care.  But, once they were out of stage, he was the first to go to the hospital, and stayed all night there.

No one stopped him.

 

 ••

 

Baekhyun heard the annoying bip right before he opened his eyes. The first instinct was to close them again — so much white on that room, it made his head ache. He let his eyes go around the room, the machines near to his bed, the large window that covered the skyscrapers that rose up, the desk with cards. It took some time for him to realize he wasn’t alone.

The dark-haired boy took of his cap and looked at Baekhyun.

— We were starting to get worried. — Sehun said.

Baekhyun’s head hurt, but he started to slowly remember. He was on stage, distracted, and didn’t see the step. He looked down and saw his immobilized leg. Sehun followed his look and sighed.

— What _happened_ …? — his voice was husky and speaking was difficult. His arms were heavy and his back hurt. He wasn’t sure what could happened if he tried to sit.

— You missed a step and fell in a really weird way. — he started. — There was no way your leg could be okay after that. And you also hurt your head, so the doctors said you may not remember exactly what happened. It was really fast.

— Did it ruin the show?

— It was really fast. The fans couldn’t see much, so you were taken by the staff and we covered it up. But we got really worried since you were unconscious when you got here and we couldn’t see you. The staff didn’t want people to find out so not all of us could be here right away. And even after some time passed they were still reluctant. 

He sighed.

— I was so distracted. I’m sorry.

— That’s okay. And realized. But, you know. I wasn’t sure of what I could do.

And Sehun knew.

It was a rainy night the one Baekhyun decided friendship wasn’t the right word anymore to describe what he felt about Chanyeol. When he realized that his heart only raced like that when the taller one was around. When he realized that little touches had more effect on him when was with Chanyeol. And when he realized that the thought of Chanyeol lips against his wasn’t that bad.

He tried keeping that to himself, but he wasn’t a subtle guy. And keeping a secret like that was something tiring. Feeling like he would be rejected if the others known was the worst part. So, one day after practice, he and Sehun were alone in the room. And it just flew through him. He told him everything while he walked around the room, facing himself on the mirror and spreading all of his feelings. When he was finished, he close his eyes and waited the sound of the door closing and Sehun leaving, but he didn’t. Instead, he put his hand on Baekhyun’s shoulder and said it was okay.

Since then, Sehun kept his secret with him and Baekhyun even talked about Chanyeol with him sometimes. It was reliving having someone to talk about it and Baekhyun loved him for that.

— I hate being like this — he said — and he didn’t even come, did he?

— He stayed here all night actually.

— You said the staff didn’t let you guys stay here.

— They didn’t like the idea, but he insisted. He was really worried about you; it’s been less than thirty minutes that he’s out.

_He didn’t want to see me when I woke up._

Baekhyun’s heart skipped a beat.

— You okay, hyung? — Sehun asked.

— Yeah — but he wasn’t. — I’m just tired and upset. I won’t be able to dance for a while.

— I’m sorry. I know how much you worked for this comeback.

— I really enjoyed Artificial Love’s choreography.

Sehun laughed.

— We know you did. — His phone rang and he checked it. —I think I’ll let you rest for now. You deserve some sleep after all. But as soon as any of us can we’ll be back.

— Hospital will be like holidays. — he smiled as the door were opened and closed by the taller one.

It took exactly ten seconds for Chanyeol to enter the room. His hair was a mess, he had dark circles under his eyes, and even the way his shoulders moved denounced that he was tired. He closed the door and stayed there, his eyes running around the room.

Baekhyun’s heart failed a beat. He didn’t expect to see the other one so soon, and in _that_ way. He almost forgot about their little fight.

— I was afraid you would kick me out if I was the one here when you woke up.

Silence. He didn’t want to talk to Chanyeol.

— I’m sorry — he started, and his voice was so tired that everything fade away for a second. — About before the show, about snapping at you and ignoring you.

More silence. He didn’t want to even _look_ at Chanyeol.

— I thought I could ignore your presence, but when you fell I was already by your side before I could even realize. — He stopped. — I just… — he sat on the couch. — I’m tired.  I was exhausted yesterday. And I got stressed. And I never thought that things would end up like this.

— I just hurt my leg, Chanyeol, don’t be dramatic. — He tried to be cold but every time they talked his voice was carried with feeling.

Chanyeol finally looked at him.

— I don’t like being like this with you.

Baekhyun hated conversations like this. In which everything the other one said was in Baek’s mind when he laid to sleep. He hated how the sound of Chanyeol’s voice stayed in his ears, whispering to him in his dreams — or nightmares. He hated the sincerity, he hated the fondness, he hated their friendship, he hated it was just that.

It was like the words created roots in his heart and spread all around his body, staying there for how long they wanted, following him everywhere, creating two hundred different endings, two hundred different meanings. Meanings that haunted him, possibilities and the sweet whisper of what it all could be. It just _hurt_ so much.

He hate melting like this.

And there he was, lost in thoughts, facing two big eyes that were so sorry and so tired and —oh, he had been there all night. _For Baekhyun_.

— So don’t. It’s in the past anyway, and—

—You can’t change the past — There was a ghost of a smile on his lips. — But I wish I could. I’m sorry.

— Nah, we’re fine. —Baekhyun forced himself to smile. — You’re my best friend, anyways. We can’t be like this with each other for a long time.

His heart shattered in a million pieces with those words and the pieces were put back again just to be shattered again when Chanyeol got up and sit on the tip of his bed. And all the pieces exploded into galaxy dust when he put their fingers together. Chanyeol’s big hand with calloused fingers against Baekhyun’s soft ones. They fit perfectly, or seemed to, because Baekhyun’s mind played with him when it came to the taller one.

It was always like this. They had a fight, they stayed apart, they apologized and it was all normal. And then it happened all over again.

Baekhyun like to believe that the universe was so mean to him that made it impossible for the two of them to be apart for much long. It created a bond between them, and it would be so amazing if was just friendship, but, as said before, the universe was very mean to him. So it made Baekhyun fall in love with his anchor. Fucking curse.

— I was really worried about you, you know. Your eyes were closed. I couldn’t sleep until I knew you were okay.

— You really look like you could use some sleep. — Baekhyun said, but he wasn’t thinking because Chanyeol’s fingers were moving along his and caressing the words and creating new meanings and these meanings _hurt_ because maybe just maybe Chanyeol feel the same and maybe just maybe this touch means more than he thinks, and maybe just maybe he’s not being a fool.

Maybe just maybe his mind it’s not tricking him again.

Chanyeol smiled.

His heart is _so_ shattered.

— I’m really sorry about snapping at you.

He didn’t answer, because it’s already in the air. _It’s okay_. And it is, in fact, because his eyes are going to their fingers to his wrist and arms until they stop on Baekhyun’s lips, then his eyes.

Could the painkillers be messing with his mind?

The air became heavy and he’s so conscious of his breath and how the pieces of his heart beat fast and maybe, just maybe, he feels like saying something.

But it was over, because Chanyeol’s eyes went back to their hands and he separated them slowly, getting up.

— I think I’ll let you rest for now — he said. — You need it.

He followed to the door in large steps, and Baekhyun thought he wouldn’t just leave but he turned back and looked at him.

— See you soon, Baekhyunie.

The door closed. The tenderness died in the air. The pieces of his heart started putting themselves together. But it was too much. _Their hands laced. The look. The “he stayed here all night”._

The room seemed whiter and painful to look at, so he closed his eyes and went to sleep with a small smile on his lips. Because maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t be the one to fall.


End file.
